New goal

So at this point it seems that I have some regulars. Goal number 1 = success.

Goal number 2 - start to receive comments. Now, I realize that in order to receive a comment here or there then there needs to be comment-worthy material. It also may help to post items a little more regularly. Know that these truths are not lost on me and I will be trying my hardest to bring my best to you all. But here and now I am officially inviting and even welcoming comments.

Hope this finds you doing well at the beginning of yet another week. God's been doing some major work in my life these days, I'll try to put some of it into words in order to share it soon. But until then, happy Monday!

H.

Wow, this is interesting. Check out this blog post.

http://newsociety.com/blogs/index.php/2008/04/10/hungry_planet_food_expenditures_from_aro

I realize that I am a little overdue for a new post, however I'm at a loss for words. So rather than share some deep and moving thought I will simply wish my baby brother a (late) happy 18th birthday!! Love ya!!

Blog envy

So I've been doing a little perusing of blogs lately and have come up with several conclusions.

1) About half of the blogs out there are not kept up with regularly
2) Also about half of those blogs are written by Christians
3) Most blogs are either about a certain topic (such as news, beliefs, etc.) or family
4) Some people...have very interesting things to say...

Through this time it has made me rethink my own blog somewhat and begs the question, what is my purpose for writing? Originally I decided to make another go at blogging because I had a little extra time and thought it could be fun. I enjoy writing and feel like sometimes I can get my thoughts across much better through written word rather than speaking (I have quite a knack for talking myself into some deep holes). The more I've blogged though the more I feel I need a purpose and direction for my posts. Something to ponder.

Tunes

So I have this thing where I don't really have favorites in life. I really don't like the idea of putting that term "favorite" on an item and then feeling stuck to liking it for a certain amount of time. There are tons of things that I like, but depending on the day and moment my answers could be very different. Currently (and for awhile now I might add) I have been enjoying music by the band needtobreathe. If I'm looking for something familiar and am in sort of a relaxed, mellow mood then I'll usually pop them in. Here's one of their songs that I enjoy quite a bit.

In your Hands - Christy Nockels

So tonight I was sitting and thinking about a few things going on in my life right now. I have more time than I'm used to at the moment and this tends to cause me to have a little too much time for thinking every now and then. Anywhos, I was beginning to worry and allow my mind to drift to things it should not be focusing on when I started to listen to the words of the song playing in the background. The lyrics go:

For so long I have held on to all that I am
When all You want is for me to place it in Your hands, in your hands, Lord…in your hands…

Here's my thoughts, I want to think of You
and place them in Your hands
I place them in Your hands

Here's my time, take it as You will
I place it in Your hands
I place it in Your hands


Huh, it seems that the Lord was speaking directly to me just now. So funny how often times when we're looking for an answer to something the Lord does speak, we just don't always listen.

Trying to follow the yellow brick road can be hard when you're color blind

It's been an interesting couple of weeks, to say the least. I'm realizing, yet again, that life is never as it seems. You think that you know how things are going to go and then a curve ball comes your way - something that you didn't even think to consider. What a great reminder to focus on the day at hand and just trust the Lord with the rest.

I wrote earlier that I was taking some time to seek after the Lord for answers. While I can't say that I really have those answers I can say that I'm yet again reminded of how important it is to trust the Lord when things don't go quite as planned.

See, I came to Asheville for a specific reason, I came because I agreed to help work towards beginning an after school program for local at-risk youth. I spent much time in thought and prayer before making this decision, it wasn't made lightly. I talked it over with a number of people that I trust and respect and finally came to the decision that this was where the Lord was calling me - to go back home for a time. So I made the plunge and committed. Now, just weeks later, it would seem that maybe that's not what the Lord had in mind after all. Due to a number of circumstances that are out of my control the after school program will not be happening as planned. While I'm still confident of my decision to come home, I can't help but question what the Lord has in mind.

The door to work with this population of kids has not closed completely and there are some other potential opportunities here for me in Asheville. However, this sudden and unforeseen change has caught me off guard momentarily. I'm currently in a period of waiting on the Lord for direction and guidance as to where He wants me.

Looking back on these last two months I can't say that I'm completely thrilled with how I've used my time. But what I can say is how the Lord has continued to bless it and has allowed me the opportunity to grow in certain areas. While I truly have no clue what the next month holds, much less the next week, I can say that know the Lord will continue to be faithful and lay out my path as I go. 

To my regular visitors

Hello Friends,

Just wanted to say a large thanks for checking my blog regularly. I know you are out there and I want to make sure that you know you are not going unnoticed. Your constant visits are what push me to put more posts up, though I know it has been a few days since the last, another will be coming your way soon. So thanks again. Keep up the visits, more thoughts are coming your way soon.

Sincerely,

H.

Going dark

I mentioned in an earlier post that there are a lot of questions right now in life and this fact hasn't changed. The truth is though, I could really use a couple of answers. So in an effort to remove distractions and excuses I have decided to "go dark" for a couple of days.

No, this does not mean gothic or depressed or anything of the sort. Rather, what I am saying is that I will be giving up technology for a bit. It's so easy to allow myself to spend my days on my computer or watching TV, but at the end of the day I look back and have nothing but emptiness to show for it. I could really use the Lord's guidance right now in life and rather than seeking after him I have been drowning him out with the noise of this world.

I so desire to hear what He is telling me and feel that in order to best do this I need to take a break from that noise and listen for His voice. So folks, I will see you in a few days with hopefully a few less question marks staring me in the face. Adios, see ya when I see ya.

H.

Here's a few of the things that I know I do love in life (just in case you were wondering):

Scarves

Polka Dots

Coffee dates with friends

Getting lost (you never know what neat places you'll end up in!)

My family (plus Ang and Phil of course)

And so much more really. I love laughing, though I hardly do it enough. I love to experiment with baking and making things for the ones that I love. I absolutely love making others smile and bringing joy to another persons day. When someone I love is feeling down I'd do just about anything to make them feel better. I love inspiring others to go after the potential I see in them. Like I said, there's a lot that I love in life - and this isn't even the tip of the ice berg.

The Great Masquerade

There's a lot of questions in life right now. Some second guessing is going on and even a little worrying perhaps. It's amazing how in one moment you think you know where life is headed and then in the next you have no clue what's going to happen. Everyday is a constant reminder to just continue trusting the Lord because at the end of the day He is the one who know's whats going to happen. Worrying does nothing but add stress and burdens to life - I keep trying to tell this to myself but it's so much easier said than lived.

See, I'm one of those girls that's grown up in the church and I've learned so many the "right answers." I know the right things to say, right emotions to portray, and right facial expressions to give. I'm really good at saying how I should respond to something and assuring people in my life that that's what I'm doing - but when it comes to living that out in my mind and heart it's a whole other story.

Over the years I've gotten so much better at being real and genuine and not putting on that "church face" that I learned as I grew up. Some days its hard though to be honest with the world, and even honest with myself. After awhile putting on the mask just becomes a natural part of life. You can anticipate the reactions of others and then know how to respond. That's partly why I have a hard time meeting new people sometimes - I don't already know what to anticipate from them or understand how they're generally going to respond to things. The thing about meeting new people is that you're starting fresh. They don't know you, you don't know them. For me - the girl with the masks - that can be hard because I don't know which mask to wear.

The older I get the more I'm realizing that I have no idea who I actually am. I've been this girl that's tried to please everyone for so long that I don't really have any idea of the things that I enjoy or want to do with my time. It's always just easier to follow the group and not make a big fuss. The more I come to grips with this the more I want to break free from this picture I've created of the girl that I should be and just be who I actually am. Trying to live life pleasing everyone is exhausting and leaves you feeling drained, insecure, and reliant on others - that is not a life that I want to live. The life that I desire to live is one filled with the freedom and riches the Lord has to offer for those who allow Him to live through them. This includes so much more than just freedom from eternal death (though that is the greatest part of it). It includes freedom from trying to please others, or being anyone but yourself. It allows you to not have to live life feeling burdened or weighted down by the troubles of the world. The freedom offered by the Lord is a freedom like none you could imagine. It allows us to live life looking only to the Lord for strength, wisdom, knowledge, and truth. That is the life I desire to live. Floating free on the promises of Christ and looking only to please Him each day. Again, this is sometimes much easier said than done. :-)