The truth.

I'm starting to notice a pattern in my life. I get really excited about a new endeavor and pursue it fully heartedly for awhile then slowly it dies off and I eventually let it go altogether. It would seem that this blog is yet another item on the list of things I have given up on. Growing up there've been a lot - tap, jazz, piano, clarinet, bass clarinet, softball, volleyball, pottery, and tons of books that I've started by never finished just to name a few.

While I won't say that I've completely given up on this idea of a blog altogether, I will be honest and say that it probably won't be updated as often as it once was. Life is getting busy these days and having another thing on the list isn't really what I'm looking for right now. But I will say this, from time to time I will do my best to fill these pages with a funny story, insight on what I'm currently learning, or an update on life as it is.

So check back from time to time - you never know when I'll write again. But until then, I'll see ya when I see ya.

H.

I'm a working woman...again.

Started training for my waitressing job today - so basically I followed around one of the other servers for a couple of hours. Not only was I reminded of how much I enjoy the face paced environment of the restaurant world, but I was also reminded of the life behind the scenes of the restaurant and all the small talk that occurs. If there's one thing in life that I really don't enjoy or have the nak of it is small talk. I hate having to try and find things to talk about that, at the end of the day, have no meaning. I so much prefer to have honest relationships with friends and just joke around and have fun without the pressure of talking about things that don't last or matter. Talking just for the sake of talking, not my thing. If I have something to say then I will share it otherwise I'm perfectly content to stay quiet.

I think this job will be great, but it will definitely challenge me in my small talking abilities and hopefully help me to turn some of these conversation opportunities into more than topics that have little to no purpose behind them.

What am I doing with my life??

A couple of weeks I ago I started reading through the book Radical by David Platt. I'm reading this with a group of friends from church and then we get together and discuss each chapter. Let me just say, this book is super challenging! It's not that its full of large words and deep theological thoughts, but rather it's basically calling out the American church and challenging it's readers to live the Christian life differently. After reading through the first chapter and a half of the book I'm already ready to drive up to the office of a mission organization and tell them to ship me off.

Along with reading this book I'm beginning to feel that my thinking is changing towards life in general. I have begun to look at the world differently and a little less through the eyes of a society set on success and achievement. I'm beginning to feel like we've got it all wrong and our priorities are all screwed up. I'm to the point in life where I get to decide what I want out of life. Do I want to settle down and get a job that will take me far? Or maybe I want to pack everything up and move to a new city just for kicks. What about joining a mission organization and going to a third world country? Or maybe I should think a little more seriously about learning to fly? Join the military perhaps?

I don't really know what I want out of life these days. I was interviewing for a job just today and the lady asked me why I hadn't taken a job in my field of study. I came up with some sort of answer, but to be honest, I don't know. Maybe that's what I should do. Right now I feel torn between so many things and so uncertain of what I should actually do.

Here's the good news though, I truly believe that the big picture is so much bigger than all of these little things I'm currently worrying about. Yes, I want my life to mean something, and yes, I want to feel like each day has a purpose and that I am achieving a greater goal than just the mere act of making money. But the good news is that I also truly believe that if I'm living each day as for the Lord then I am living for a great goal and something more than myself and thus my life has a greater purpose and meaning.

I've just gotten a job waitressing at a local cafe and after taking the position I couldn't help but think "what am I doing??", "how is this going to give my life purpose?" My life is filled with all kinds of these questions at the moment. Do I start running the rat race and just seek to make some money or do I look for something with a far greater purpose? Luckily, I do believe that all of life can be lived with a greater purpose no matter what tasks consume each hour.

So here I am, about to start a new job and fill some of my hours with new people, tasks, and a new goal - to love those He puts in my life. We'll see how this goes.